MX - March 28, 2011

mX - 28th March, 2011. Published in Sydney, Melbourne and Brisbane. Readership 75,000+

This article was edited to fit the word count. Please see below for original article submitted:

ARTICLE

I did it again. It gets me every time. I don't know why, but without fail, I still cry like a loser every time I watch The Notebook.   

Huddled into my makeshift blanket-fort, the waterworks were on auto-pilot as I watched Noah try to convince Allie she should be with him, about the hundreds of letters he wrote her while he was in the war, and how despite the constant fighting, he still desperately wanted to be with only her. By the end of this scene (and don't pretend you don't know what I'm talking about), I literally always find myself adopting the foetal position, teary eyed with mucus uncontrollably trailing out of my nostrils, rocking back and forth contemplating why all the men in the world can't be like Noah Calhoun.

My friends tell me I have high expectations of people; especially men. I am unforgiving when it comes to being late, merciless when it comes to forgetting anniversaries, and non accepting of anything that shows lack of effort or preparation. I know men aren’t wired to think like I do, so I don’t necessarily blame them.

I blame romantic comedies.

The bane of male existence, “chick flicks” have a cult following of women who have been sucked into this twisted mentality that men actually know a thing or two about relationships. I am no exception to this. I have fallen into the dark portal that is Hollywood’s too good to be true scripting, which has triggered myself and women alike to expect heroic displays of affection and chivalry by men on a regular basis. Romantic movies aren’t real. They’re a mirage; and for one reason or another I’ve lost sight of the fact that any movie starring Jennifer Aniston or Julia Roberts is probably not based on society’s norm.

The reason women want to believe in these movies so badly isn’t because they expect men to be perfect. Women just want to feel special, or superior to their friends in some way. The same reason they love shopping, getting manicures and all those other waste of money schemes we come up with. Women are profoundly deep creatures who possess maturity that looks beyond the glimmer of the knight’s shining armour, but if you think that we are more concerned with a man’s intentions, rather than these superficial gestures, you’re wrong.

Women want everything. They want someone strong, yet sensitive. Spontaneous, yet prepared. Rugged, yet refined.... You can’t question the complex infrastructure that is the female mind. You just have to accept it.

Maybe the love of my life won’t spend seven years single-handedly building my dream house with his bare hands. Maybe he won’t plan an extravagant cross-country scavenger hunt for me on his deathbed to cure my inevitable mourning. Maybe he won’t even think to compile a “period mix-tape” for me when I am suffering the wrath of menstrual cramping. Fine. 

I know life doesn’t always happen like it does in the movies; but please go a little further than grabbing the 3-pack of Fererro Rochers at the Woolies counter on your way out on Valentine’s Day. Contrary to what the song says, cutting a hole in a box to put your ‘junk’ in isn’t quite going to cut it for Christmas either.

All women want is to feel special, and maybe a story to spark jealousy amongst their friends, because let’s face it; women are women. So I think we should meet half way. Men should take notes from the character of Noah Calhoun, and women should go easy on the rom-coms.